5 Signs That You Don’t Know How To Listen

So you don’t know how to listen? That’s fine. Most people like to think of themselves as good listeners. In reality, most are not. At least you’re being honest!

Listening is an easy concept to understand, yet it’s very difficult to do.  Putting it into practice requires attention, focus, and a hell of a lot of energy.

 You’re probably thinking ‘Not me. I’m a GREAT listener. One of the best.’ Ok, maybe not that exact thought process.  You get the idea. So, how can you check? 

Don’t Know How To Listen | SNP Communications

How can you tell if you’re a good listener?  Start by assessing if you don’t know how to listen.  Here are 5 signs:  

 1- You’re thinking about something else

You’re nodding, you’re smiling, you might even throw in a “yeah, totally”, but you’re thinking about something else. Probably contemplating whether to have burritos or pizza for dinner (just me?).  The good news: either dinner option is fantastic.  The bad news: you’re not listening.

2 – You interrupt

Ever catch yourself talking over someone or cutting them off before they’ve finished speaking?  Maybe you’re excited to make a comment or share some information; or perhaps you think what you have to say is more important.  Either way, interruptions get in the way of listening, which gets in the way of  understanding.

3 – It’s all about you

Let’s say you don’t interrupt someone (congrats – reward yourself with a burrito).  Pay attention to your response.  Does it frequently contain “I” or “me” in it?  If so, you’re on track to make it about you.  Do that consistently, and your self-orientation can get in the way of connecting with others and creating the space to listen.  It’s okay to talk about yourself sometimes — try to avoid leading with it and see where the conversation goes.

4- You hijack the conversation

Wayne starts to tell you about his trip to Spain, and you jump in with stories about your experience studying abroad in Spain and how good the jamon is.  Before you know it, you’re talking about that night you went clubbing in Madrid and lost your left shoe.  But Wayne wanted to talk about the beautiful beaches of Malaga before you hijacked the conversation.  A fun conversation for you, but how’s Wayne feeling?  Entertained?  Perhaps. Listened to?  Nope.

5 – You don’t learn anything

What do you learn when you’re talking?  Nothing.  If you walk away from a meeting or conversation and realize you didn’t learn anything new, it’s a sign that you might be talking too much.  Talk less.  Listen more.  Learn more.

After reading this list, can you honestly say that you’re a perfect listener? Probably not. But that’s ok, nobody is. *It just means you need to practice. And it’s never too late to do that. Also never too late to eat a burrito. Speaking of which… 

* Check out our Start Here: Listen workshop.  It’s free, it’s only 45 minutes, and it’s an opportunity to get even better at listening—and connecting—with others.

Like this article?

Share on Linkedin
Share on Facebook
Share on Twitter
Share on Pinterest
OH SN*P



GMU Live

Hyatt tapped SNP to create a video promoting GMU Live — the onsite portion of General Manager University onboarding program. SNP traveled to Chicago for the shoot to coach the speakers on camera and capture compelling b-roll that highlighted the new general managers’ emotional, and educational journey into Hyatt.

Hyatt Glasswing Overview

SNP produced an internal marketing video to help raise awareness and adoption of Hyatt’s new Glasswing application, which tracks real-time financial data, KPIs, and other core metrics for owners and operators. From conducting the interviews, to coaching the speakers on camera and editing the video, SNP owned the content creation at each step of production.

Back in 2013, Asana was still a young company and some of their managers were experiencing leadership roles for the first time. So they needed to learn how to be, well, leaders. Like how to be more influential, directive, confident, and how to deal with conflict. Because if they could flourish then Asana could start to scale even faster (and without so many growing pains).

Enter SNP.

We started with just one 1:1 coaching relationship. But the good word spread fast. Soon enough more people from Asana’s management team were seeking our unique third party perspective, skill-based approach, and communications expertise to build their personal brand, strengthen their careers, and achieve more. (And did we mention the coaching program was a perk that attracted new talent? We didn’t? Well…) Eight years later and Asana is still scaling. And we’re still by their side helping them do it.

By clicking on "Submit", you agree to the SNP Privacy Policy and communication from SNP Communications through the contact information listed.

Trainings

By clicking on “Submit”, you agree to the SNP Privacy Policy and communication from SNP Communications through the contact information listed.